Living with roommates for the first time? Here are some important tips
Living with someone new can be a learning curve, but the benefits to having a good roommate relationship can last well past your academic journey. Photo Credit: Diva Plavalaguna via Pexels
Living with a roommate during university gives students the opportunity to live away from home more affordably. At its best, having a roommate can lead to connection and friendship, so it’s important to consider what makes a good roomie, how you can be one yourself and how to find a good match.
We spoke to recent alumni, a current student and Residence Life here at TMU to ask them what tips they would offer students about living in close quarters with someone new.
Jenna Larkin (Creative Industries ’23), who now works as a communications associate at IGM Financial, says that she still texts her former roommate every day and that they arrange to meet up at least once a month after her roommate moved out of the city.
They met in their first year and decided to live together the following academic year.
Besides being easy to get along with, Larkin says her roommate shared a similar lifestyle, which made it easier to live together. “We were very compatible in the way that we liked a neat apartment. We also both went to bed around the same time, so it was quiet from 11 p.m. onwards.”
For Larkin, being a good roommate comes down to communication and respect. “We always knocked on each other's doors before coming in. We always asked each other before inviting friends over. We were never super loud. We maintained our common spaces and we also told each other when we needed time to ourselves.”
Creative Industries alumna Jenna Larkin formed a close friendship with her roommate who is still a part of her life after university.
Jenna Larkin and her roommate pose for a selfie.
From having fun and hanging out, to studying together or doing mundane tasks like grocery shopping, Larkin says it was wonderful to have someone to go through the university experience with. Especially during pandemic restrictions.
“We lived together during COVID so we couldn't really go out. We started making Friday night dinners together. We tried new recipes and made things like sushi, arancini, paella and so many other different things, for about three years.”
Cultivating congenial cohabitation
As an international student, Priya Gupta (Psychology ’22), who works as a senior financial advisor at Scotiabank, says that when she first moved to Toronto, she was nervous about venturing out and making new friends, adapting to a new culture and navigating life on her own.
“Although adjusting to a new country did not happen instantaneously, I eventually managed a routine, began exploring the city and socializing with friends,” she says. “Much of this was thanks to the support I received from on-campus housing.”
Gupta says that living in residence and having roommates allowed her to find family with her roommates. “From having breakfast together in the cafeteria to sharing a tub of ice cream while studying, we supported each other every step of the way during our first year,” she shares.
She also fondly remembers exploring Toronto’s multicultural food scene with her roommates who were also international students of different ethnicities. “We were all new to Canada so we would try new cuisines like a Ramen place or an Indian restaurant, Egyptian food, Nigerian food,” says Gupta. “These memories really stuck with me.”
Gupta says it’s important to check one’s ego and keep an open mind, remembering that everyone will have a unique perspective on things, differing world views and varying moral codes. “It's really important to respect and understand the person you're going to live with. Be open to compromise, change and new ways of approaching things. And don’t sweat the small stuff.”
For Priya Gupta (Psychology ’22), having roommates allowed her to forge close bonds in a new city and country.
A little kindness goes a long way
For fourth-year Fashion Design student Anisa Farah, small acts of kindness translate to a positive shared environment. Farah remembers coming home late one night after class to a home-cooked meal by her roommate that made all the difference in her day. They would often cook for each other as a way to connect and show their appreciation.
Finding a good roommate doesn’t mean you’ll find a perfect match in every aspect. But making a concerted effort to be a thoughtful roommate can be deeply rewarding.
Residence Life shares a few important tips for living with a roommate
1. Learn how to communicate effectively and set up clear boundaries, and do your best to respect these.
“When sharing a living environment with someone – whether that's in one of our residence halls, off-campus or in a rental, communication is key,” says Simon Finn, associate director, Residence Life and Education. “Making sure that roommates are proactively having these conversations up front in advance of issues and aligning on expectations is critical.”
2. Aligning on expectations can lead to less roommate conflicts. Complete the roommate success plan with your residence advisor (RA). It’s important to establish a set of common expectations, whether it’s related to cleaning, lights off or socializing in the shared space.
“The roommate success plan is a questionnaire for incoming student residents to fill out together with new roommates to help prompt conversations around things like having guests in their units, cleanliness and quiet hours,” says Finn. “It’s an opportunity to facilitate a conversation that will be ongoing as they transition into first year.”
3. Make decisions together about who is responsible for what and when, for example, taking out the trash.
4. Everyone has different routines and habits; keep an open mind and be respectful.
For students who may find themselves in more challenging situations, Finn points to RAs who are always on hand to offer support and resources to help students navigate any peer conflicts. “Whether it's mediating solutions or facilitating mutual understanding, we want living situations to enable studying, sleeping and success at TMU.”
Remember, you are not alone. Many students are making the same transition as you are in adjusting to residence and university life. Roommates offer a built-in opportunity to forge a meaningful connection.
“Your roommate can be one of the first new friendships you form on campus,” says Finn. “With resources like resident advisors, orientation programs and roommate success plans, students are equipped to build a thriving community together.”