Coffee with my first-year self: Reflections from a graduating TMU student

She was 10 minutes early.

I showed up right on time and ordered lattes from Balzac’s for both of us.

If there’s one thing that hasn’t changed since first-year, it’s my habit of ordering coffee from Balzac’s (external link, opens in new window)  before every class (an iced vanilla latte with oat milk, to be exact). However, I’ve definitely grown into a much more confident and outgoing person since I stepped foot on campus for the first time.

I used to feel really uncomfortable speaking in front of big crowds or strangers. I also worried a lot about what other people thought of me, so I always made sure to arrive extra early to every class, meeting or event. Attending a university in a big city played a big role in my personal growth since it pushed me to tackle the things that scared me head-on. Through written assignments, group projects and presentations, I was able to grow a lot more confident in myself. While I’ll always be an introvert, being a student at TMU taught me how to embrace myself for who I am.

She told me that she hasn’t found her place at university yet.

I told her to stay positive and reminded her that she won’t feel lost forever.

The first half of my first-year was delivered online because of COVID-19, so I felt really detached from the so-called “university experience.” It was really tough to meet new people, and at times, I felt really lost. However, this all changed once I started getting involved in student groups and reaching out to people who had the same interests as me. I joined student groups like Her Campus (external link, opens in new window)  and New Wave Magazine (external link, opens in new window) , and in my third year, I joined the White Wall Review’s (external link, opens in new window)  Fiction Committee. Connecting with people in my program (even if it was virtual) helped me find a sense of belonging, and once campus opened up again, it felt great to have activities to look forward to outside of class.

She asked me if the English program is everything that I hoped it would be.

I told her that I couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else.

I remember feeling worried that I would regret my decision to enroll in TMU’s English program. I remember thinking: Is this meant to be? Will I be able to study what I’m interested in? Are there lots of course options? Will the professors be nice to me?

I quickly realized that English was the perfect fit for me after I learned about all of the cool English electives I could take in my program. The openness and positive feedback that I received from my professors also provided me with the confidence to try new things and experiment in my coursework. For example, the course ENG 904: Independent Research Paper has given me the opportunity to spend my last semester writing an essay about film and television adaptations of Anne of Green Gables—my favourite childhood book!

I’m genuinely so thankful that I’m in a program that allows me to study what I love. So, if you’re trying to figure out which program is right for you, just follow what makes you happy.

She told me about her fear of failure and asked if I’ve grown out of my perfectionism.

I sighed.

I don’t like admitting it, but after four years of university, I’m still a perfectionist. Getting a low grade or not meeting the standards that I set for myself can really get me down, but I think I’ve definitely improved since my first year. Being in a university environment means that you have to accept a few low moments every once in a while, and not every assignment, test or exam is going to always go your way. That’s why it’s so important to always focus on opportunities for improvement rather than your failures. I often have to remind myself to practice self-love and I encourage you to do the same!

She asked me if I’ve been able to find a job that fuels my passion for storytelling.

I told her to look forward to writing content for future TMU students.

Without Career Boost, I would’ve never been able to share my experiences with you on the Future Student Blog. Being able to do what I love (write) and leave a positive impact on the lives of future students is everything that I hoped I would accomplish when I first accepted my offer to TMU. I had no idea that I would learn so much about myself by working on campus, and it was so inspiring to learn that my passion for sharing stories could be transferred into a career. Working as a content writer has also inspired me to search for similar jobs after graduation. Once you officially become a student here, make sure to explore the Career Boost program for yourself. You could be writing one of your own blogs some day!

She asked if Toronto finally feels like home after commuting for four years.

I told her to never stop exploring the city. 

It can be easy to get stuck in a commuter student routine, but it’s important to avoid that “go to class, go home” mindset. To help Toronto feel a little bit more like home, try to spend some time exploring campus and the surrounding city after your classes finish for the day. For me, Toronto started feeling a little bit more like home when I took some time to visit different cafés near campus. I’m a firm believer that finding your go-to hang out spots is the key to feeling “at home,” so always take advantage of everything that the city has to offer.

Before going our separate ways, she asked me what my post-grad plans are.

I told her that I’m still figuring it out—and that’s okay.

The majority of my post-grad plans will consist of job hunting, but other than that, I hope to spend a lot of time reflecting over the summer. I still don’t really know exactly what my future will look like, but I’ve learned to accept the unknown. Plus, anyone who says that they have absolutely everything figured out is probably lying. Life is a constant work in progress, so you shouldn’t feel like you have to know exactly what you want all the time.

If I could tell my first-year self anything, it would be to take life one step at a time.